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From "James Mitchell" <jmitc...@telocity.com>
Subject [FRIDAY] WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS EDITION
Date Fri, 20 Sep 2002 14:49:57 GMT
I can't believe I fell victim to that guy in trench coat selling Win2k for
$5...


 --------------------------------------------
 Dear Consumers:

 It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS
 EDITION may have
 accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas.

 If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the
 commands.

 The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
 It reads:

 WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed
 on the Alamo.

 Please also note:

 The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
 My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
 Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
 Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
 Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
 Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
 Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up

 CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
 Cancel.............stopdat
 Reset...............try'er agin
 Yes..................yep
 No....................nope
 Find..................hunt fer it
 Go to................over yonder
 Back.................back yonder
 Help..................hep me out here
 Stop..................kwitit
 Start..................crank'er up
 Settings.............settins
 Programs...........stuff at duz stuff
 Documents.........stuff ah done did

 Also note that theTEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
 punctuation marks.

 Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:

 Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
 Colerin' Book..............a graphics program
 Cyferin' mersheen.......calculator
 Outhouse paper..........notepad
 Inner-net.....................Microsoft Explorer 5.0
 Pitchers......................a graphics viewer

 We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of
 the TEXAS EDITION.
 You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

 I hope this helps all ya'll!

 Billy Bob Gates
 --------------------------------------------

James Mitchell
Software Engineer\Struts Evangelist
Struts-Atlanta, the "Open Minded Developer Network"
http://www.open-tools.org/struts-atlanta




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